Dear Me
Dear Me,
We have traveled on this long road, in so many different ways (and only been doing it for 30 years!).
We have walked until our feet bled. We have run until our soles gave out. We have taken flight and driven until our source of fuel was a thing of the past. We have steadied ourselves on the backs of horses, feeling the wind in our hair, the bump in the rump, and freedom. We have skated across frozen rivers and lakes. We have sailed across oceans.
We have lived.
You have lived.
So where does this self-deprecation and fabricated pool of lies come from?
When you sit alone, thinking of all the things you could do – or should do – where does it come from? Where does it come from when you think about who you are today and what you want? When you see yourself as nothing more than a blip on the radar. A blinding light from every negative thought, where does it come from?
You talk to yourself as if you were Hitler’s second. As if you have devastated and destroyed the masses. As if your intention and purpose in life have been unfulfilled because the person you see when you look in the mirror is ugly – inside and out.
You have done bad things. You have lied. You have cheated. You have stolen. You have envied. You have asked for more than you need. You have taken from those that need it because you thought you needed it more. You have intentionally ignored and surpassed those that need help. You have stood in your own righteousness and battled on your hill of death. You have prayed not for necessity but for more.
You have lived.
You have been human.
And within humanity comes mistakes. It’s natural. It’s normal. It’s part of the process. It’s part of living.
The difference between a terrible person and a human is the ability to distinguish your choices and what has been learned through the experiences and consequences of actions taken.
You have not only lived, but you have learned.
You have learned how to be humble. You have learned what suffering and pain feel like. You have learned how to stand a little taller. You have learned to have confidence. You have learned what it means to be independent. You have learned to love, with all your heart. You have learned how to love. You have learned to ask more questions. You have learned to embrace your curiosity. You have learned to step forward and take responsibility. You have learned to admit when you are wrong. You have learned to be compassionate. You have learned how to listen. You have learned when to walk away. You have learned nothing is promised. You have learned life happens on your terms. You have learned resilience. You have learned how to persevere. You have learned to take chances. You have learned what emotional vulnerability is and how to give that. You have learned not to settle. You have learned how to be alone. You have learned how to navigate your feelings and emotions. You have learned that maybe you aren’t always right. You have learned how to give. You have learned how to receive. You have learned when to be quiet.
You have learned how to be the best person you can be today. The only thing that matters is that you don’t stop trying. You keep going. You keep fighting to do more for this world. To make an impact in whatever way you can.
You are the stone in your life. You are the anchor. You are your own light.
At times you will be guided, as we should be, but you will often need to find your own way. To take the path of others and turn it into your own adventure.
You are an amazingly beautiful woman and I am proud of you. All you have overcome. All you have conquered. All you have accomplished.
Life will never be perfect. There will always be more struggles. More hopes. More dreams. More loss. More disappointment. More heartache.
And you will always have me.
I have always been your number-one fan. I always will be.
It’s time to start seeing you the way other people do – radiant.
You are a ray of sunshine.
Keep on shining.
Love Always,
Riss
*To the reader - if you are struggling to see yourself this way also, know I shine a light and send you the love and healing I send to myself daily in the hopes one day, we will together see ourselves the way others do.
