The Yin to My Yang

A Love Letter to My Best Friend

I want to preface this letter because it is important for everyone who reads this to know what this beautiful human being means to me before you read on. To understand what these love letters are to me and why they are important.

If you follow my work, you’ll know that everything I write and do is centered around love: The good, the bad, and the ugly. One of my sections is broken down into ‘Love Letters’. A space where I write directly to those who have made an impact on my life in one way or another. This is because I want those people to know, whether they ever read it or it is just energy being sent their way, to know how appreciative of their presence (no matter how big or small) I am.

And today I write to the woman who has been by my side longer than my own blood. While she may not be directly related, she will always be a soul sister. This letter has been a long time coming and yet I have tried to write it for the last year. Today I give you what honestly doesn’t do justice to how I feel about our friendship and you as a person. So, while it is not everything, this is where I landed today and I can’t keep it from you any longer. I love you. I am grateful for you. This is for you <3

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Lauren,

Friendship is a word given to two people who are more than acquainted with each other and have a deeper relationship. Best friends is a term for two people who have intertwined their lives and share deeper secrets and moments with each other. Sisters is a word that traditionally means bonded by blood.

And yet, I wouldn’t put you in any of those categories.

On the outside, I tell others that you are my best friend. The girl I have known and loved and grown up with for twenty-five years. The girl who has lived most of my life with me and knows me better than most.

On the inside, you are my soul sister. You are the girl who laughs with me. You are the girl that given the right occasions (because let’s be real, we never know what I’m really going to say or do) laughs at me. You are the girl who became my shoulder to cry on and the one who has held all my fears. You are the girl I gushed about boys to and the girl who stole my baby picture because I was so cute. You are the girl who raged with me when I was angry and held my pain as I vented everything else. You are a guiding voice when I need advice. You are a subtle ear when I need to talk. You are a hand to hold when I’m terrified. You are an inspiration for everything you have so boldly done and everything you will so boldly do. You are my secret keeper.

You are a part of who I am because without you I would not be who I am today.

On that magically, fateful day twenty-five years ago, we met in a McDonalds. We exchanged pictures we colored for each other, probably suggested by our parents. I think back to those photos as a small piece of who we have always been. Mine was a rather colorful Lisa Frank puppy picture where I’m pretty sure the dalmatians were purple and pink, some other variation of bright colors, and probably not even close to colored in the lines. Meanwhile, yours was a Winnie the Pooh picture, colored more intentionally and with a little less gumption. That picture represents the safety I feel with you. You have colored my life in all the right ways.

This is to say, that you, my dear friend, have always been someone I can rely on.

But to say our friendship has been easy would be a lie. We have certainly had glorious ups and devastating downs.

That year where we had no communication was one of the hardest years for me. I still get emotional every time I write about it or think about it. Losing you was the worst heartbreak I had ever been through. It was honestly harder than walking away from my ex. Part of me tried to justify why you and I didn’t work anymore, but something inside of me disagreed. Something inside wasn’t willing to let you go. Despite the fact our friendship had been in a rocky spot for a few years, having a life without you in it just didn’t feel right.

It only makes sense that Kelsey’s wedding would be the reuniting moment between the two of us.

I don’t know if I told you, but when Sarah and I were rushing to the church, I was so nervous. I turned and looked at Sarah in the car and said –

“I think when I see Lauren, I just want to give her a big hug and tell her how much I love her.”

The part of me that was angry wasn’t winning anymore. I stopped fighting my instincts and just wanted my best friend back in my life. Beyond that, I needed you to know that despite everything, and even if we didn’t rebuild our friendship, I still loved you and always would.

You and I have come so far together and I write this letter so that you have physical tangible proof that you are a foundational part of my life. I am so incredibly grateful for you as a human being and as a friend.

I hope you know that I will be here for all your good days, sharing and celebrating your successes. But I will also be here to hold you when the world feels like it’s falling apart.

I know it isn’t always easy, but I see you, I hear you, I love you. You are amazing and the woman I have watched you evolve into is pretty incredible. I look up to you, I always have. You are the peanut butter to my jelly. The rock to my roll. The Ash to my Pikachu. You are a kind soul and a wonderful person and anyone who gets five minutes of you in their life doesn’t know how blessed they are.

To twenty-five more years my beautiful friend! You’re kinda stuck with me so you don’t really get a choice.

Love Always,

Riss