finding resilience
Avery watched herself in slow motion stand back up and take her place on her side of the ring. Cassidy was her biggest competition and Avery was still struggling to get that right hook in for the knockout. Cass however, knew Avery's weakness's inside and out and had a perfect track record with Avery. She knew her next move before Avery could get a shot in. Avery was exhausted. Playing this game over and over again. She didn't even know if this was what she wanted anymore.
She went home that night feeling bloody, bruised, and defeated. She popped a pack of ramen in the microwave, boiled a cup of hot water for some soothing tea and sat down in front of the TV. She needed just a moment to relax. Just a moment to gather herself before she started studying again.
She grabbed the remote on the coffee table in front of her, kicked up her feet and clicked it on.
'News - boring. Drama - boring. Romance - boring. Steve Alder.... okay, I'll bite.' She thought to herself.
She set the remote down on her worn velvet brown couch letting it sink between the cushions. Steve Alder was a pastor from Georgia and he was well renowned for his uplifting speeches. Avery had heard of him but never heard him speak. There was some special going on and she figured she would give it a shot since her ego was currently sitting in a drain somewhere down 6th street and quite frankly, she could use a little pick me up.
"You don't get to where you are going by looking backward. Think about that for a moment." He paused. "Turn around right now, what is behind you. Yes, I mean physically turn around." With a general hesitance Avery looked behind her and stared at her kitchen for a moment before turning back around.
"What did you see? Some material items? The great outdoors? A car in your rearview mirror? Another room in your house? A person who means something to you? or just a person? What value did that moment give you? My guess is for that split second you looked behind you, there wasn't much to it other than following a direction. So why do we spend so much time looking back?
There is debate right, that if we face our past we grow into a better person for the now. And oh is there truth to that, but if we spend our time sitting in the past, sitting in that moment of looking back, we miss what is directly in front of us. We miss it all. We miss the love, the moments of prosperity, the opportunities, the doors opening and the doors closing. When we sit and linger there, we miss out.
So, you are probably sitting there wondering what is your point? I will finish with this- The past is meant as a guide, but it is our resilience that carries us forward. It is our resilience that takes us into the future and that leads to your right now.
I know for a fact some of you are thinking - 'Okay pastor Steve, sure.' But it's true! You get to pick in life how you carry forward, what you do and where you are going because guess what, the only thing The Lord promises you is this moment right now. You can have the best of intent, the worst of intent, the greatest luck, or the worst luck. You can have a lot of things but what we fail to observe is that all we really have is right now. You are not promised 5 minutes from now, a day, a week.
None of that matters if you can't connect to this present moment. None of that matters if you can't enjoy where you are, who you are with, and what you are doing. You have to take put every ounce of you into every moment because that is what makes a life. If you are doing that, it won't matter if you make it home tonight because you spent your life just living.
You’ll stop living in a comfort zone and you’ll start just being. You’ll watch fear disappear because let’s be real, we are all going to die one day anyway, so why not live life your way, every day, hour, minute, second.
We all have our own forest to walk through. We walk through jungles and amazons, and I'll tell you, there are no paths. We lay the ground work, we lay the path. God, or whoever you believe in, is your guide and as long as you keep your eye on Him and let Him lead you, you will overcome any obstacle in your way.
Robert Frost said "Take the road less traveled." I say don't even take that road. Make your own road. Make the road for you on your terms. The bugs that bite, the plants that poke, they will recede when they realize their touch doesn't affect you. But you must keep on your trail to make a life that is worthwhile..."
Click.
Avery shut the tv off and pondered for a moment. ‘My life right now? My moment right now?’ She couldn't wrap her mind around just being here and not studying the girl in her boxing class for the hundredth time, she would fight again tomorrow. But what if she did walk away? What if she did give it a rest and instead rekindle the joy she had so desperately been looking for?
Avery stared at the microwave that had just beeped. When was the last time she actually cooked herself a decent meal? When was the last time she picked up her guitar in the corner or called her mom? When was the last time she pulled her coloring books out and colored for fun? The truth was, she couldn't remember. She didn’t even know when the change happened. All she knew was this is where she was now and she didn’t like it.
She stared at the tape in front of her and thought for a second before pushing her sore body off the sunken couch.
She grabbed her keys off the hook and walked out the front door. She was making herself chicken tonight. She was feeding her soul tonight. Tomorrow, she would fight and she would win. And if she didn't tomorrow, she would do it the day after that. But for the first time in a long time, she felt alive. She stepped outside, took a deep breath in, smiled, and said "God, it is so good to be alive. Thank you."
